Dear Jeremiah Wright:

You are becoming the SNL version of Harry Belafonte.

Tracy Morgan (as Belafonte): "The poodle is the black man of the dog world!"
Darrell Hammond (as Chris Matthews): "Good God! I don't even know who that's offensive to!"

A Story a Day in May

A few bloggers associated with my beloved Upright Citizens' Brigade theater (most of whom I do not know, but rather quasi-stalk) have taken on the challenge in recent months of blogging a story a day. Because I am deeply unoriginal and, at best, a comedy hanger-on, I'm doin' it too -- starting May 1. Not just because it's a convenient starting place, but because it means I don't actually have to do anything right now, and that's my favorite kind of promise.

Also, to quote Liz Lemon, my own personal TV doppelganger, "Suck it, monkeys. I'm goin' corporate!" But more on that later.

Reasons not to walk home through the West Village.

Ooh. Gelato.

*walk three blocks*

Ooh. Cupcakes.

Open Letter to Last.fm

I wanted to like you. I really tried. But we're done. First, you kept screwing up my iPod updates by occupying the little machine and preventing me from ejecting it. That, however, was only a minor annoyance. Yesterday, I plugged "antifolk" into your search bar, hoping, maybe, for some Moldy Peaches, some Regina Spektor, some Grizzly Bear. Instead? Ani DiFranco --> M.C. Hammer.

Today, I went back to Pandora. So far, the Okkervil River station has provided M. Ward, Elliott Smith, Matt Pond PA, The Decembrists, The High Strung, and Sufjan Stevens. In other words, shit that makes sense.

Sorry, last.fm. You are dead to me.

I forgot a Wiki challenge

Damn you, Tom for posting it in the comments section of another post. Tricksy hobbit.

Anyhoo. The HMS Kent is, obviously, the official sailing ship of the royal family of England. Their aquatic Air Force One, if you will.

Pandora is lazy or has been hijacked by some subsidiary of Virgin Records

Bands that Have Made an Appearance on Every One of My Pandora Stations (from The Shins to Hem to Ben Gibbard to Me'shell Ndegeocello) (an ongoing project):

• Tarkio (the band that Colin Meloy was in before The Decembrists and whose songs average six minutes in length)
  
• Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos
  
• Heatmiser
  

The Recommendations Section, Podcast Edition

In honor of my favorite podcast, Once More With Feeling, this is the recommendations section. This week, it's podcasts.

1. Once More With Feeling
   
2. Jonathan Coulton's "Flickr" (available for free on iTunes as part of his Thing a Week podcast). Actually, any of the songs are really hilarious -- "Code Monkey" has gained some notoriety for its inspiration of a really embarassing YouTube video.
   
3. Kevin Smith's SMODCast, which you probably all knew about. But it's better than his blog, which has fortunately moved away from detailed descriptions of his frequent fucking of his wife. In bragging news, I have met his wife and she is very nice, but needs to eat about seven sandwiches.
   
4. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. The NPR podcasts are all famous and shit, so this one is lamely obvious, but it's a really good resource for those of us who like to pretend we keep abreast of current affairs and have witty things to say about them.
   
5. IndieFeed. Learn four band names a month that you can drop at illegal Williamsburg loft parties and look significantly hipster-er than you are. Which, for me, is not at all, so listening to this shit (and, let's be honest, like your average mid-90s Ani DiFranco album, about 80% of it is) allows me to barely hang -- or at least distracts people from my the clothes which I so boringly purchased first-hand.
   
6. All Songs Considered. More obvious NPRage, but you can get whole concerts by excellent bands like Spoon, The New Pornographers, Belle and Sebastian, and Sleater Kinney. Some episodes are guest hosted by such rock and roll luminaries as M. Ward, Joanna Newsom, and (wait for it) WEIRD AL.
   

That's all I've got for now. What was it I told you about being a sucky blogger?